Sunday, December 31, 2006
Lucky Number Seven
My Baby Girl is seven, and I've been a parent of two for seven years. Boggles the mind that I have made it this far. I know the girls birthdays are not about me (the mom) but ever since my oldest made it to #1, each and every birthday is a dual celebration that we've reached together.
I just realized I am way behind on the gift giving to myself, but my portion of the celebration is an internal feeling that is mine and mine alone. No one else can give it to me, buy it for me or take it away from me.
The human experience is an amazing adventure, and for the 97% of the time that I don't get what the heck I'm supposed to be doing as a mom---this day and the feelings it brings is a part of the 3% that I totally get. I understand on a very deep level what it means to me as a mother and how it's part of my identity as afro.
My girls are my life. They are my color in my world that would otherwise be gray and dull. They bring out the very best parts of me and help me understand what love and devotion means. There is a flip side to the best parts of me, but it will only serve to get me down this morning.
Every day that I have them in my lives is a gift. It's not all happiness and roses, but my daughters are a precious gift--each one of them are uniquely themselves. I enjoy being with them and talking to them. I adore their little faces and I still watch them when they sleep and listen to their breathing at the end of nearly every day. There is so much in their lives that I have no control over and their journey is theirs alone, but I am the mom, and it still amazes me that through the grace of God, my body grew those little bodies and gave them life. Their faces look the same as they did when they were babies--their expressions are the ones I've been watching since before they could talk, and at times I can actually "see" them think things through as they try and understand their world.
Today is a celebration of all these gifts, and also, for the last day of the year that brought many good things. The good outweighed the bad and I look forward to what 2007 has in store. ¶ 8:57 AM
My Baby Girl is seven, and I've been a parent of two for seven years. Boggles the mind that I have made it this far. I know the girls birthdays are not about me (the mom) but ever since my oldest made it to #1, each and every birthday is a dual celebration that we've reached together.
I just realized I am way behind on the gift giving to myself, but my portion of the celebration is an internal feeling that is mine and mine alone. No one else can give it to me, buy it for me or take it away from me.
The human experience is an amazing adventure, and for the 97% of the time that I don't get what the heck I'm supposed to be doing as a mom---this day and the feelings it brings is a part of the 3% that I totally get. I understand on a very deep level what it means to me as a mother and how it's part of my identity as afro.
My girls are my life. They are my color in my world that would otherwise be gray and dull. They bring out the very best parts of me and help me understand what love and devotion means. There is a flip side to the best parts of me, but it will only serve to get me down this morning.
Every day that I have them in my lives is a gift. It's not all happiness and roses, but my daughters are a precious gift--each one of them are uniquely themselves. I enjoy being with them and talking to them. I adore their little faces and I still watch them when they sleep and listen to their breathing at the end of nearly every day. There is so much in their lives that I have no control over and their journey is theirs alone, but I am the mom, and it still amazes me that through the grace of God, my body grew those little bodies and gave them life. Their faces look the same as they did when they were babies--their expressions are the ones I've been watching since before they could talk, and at times I can actually "see" them think things through as they try and understand their world.
Today is a celebration of all these gifts, and also, for the last day of the year that brought many good things. The good outweighed the bad and I look forward to what 2007 has in store. ¶ 8:57 AM
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