blue
{it's a...streak/highlight/coloring section...or what have you}
and it's just~
really cool
glad i had the opportunity and the excuse to get it
and no, mom--it's not permanent. it's just blue.
and overall~ a VERY cool experiment
blue is the way to go (even "in this economy")... hands down.
--
oh, btw--as the "blue" has lived...day to day...it turned out that what the paul mitchell school did to get this cool effect at the last minute when I hit them with a hypothetical blue question?
...was to "lift" the RED off the section of hair they were going to highlight and bleach it before adding the blue to it. cool. BUT--the side effect? is that each day I wake up and look in the mirror (after I am slightly shocked to remember that I DO have blue hair--is the fact that it's getting lighter and lighter blue...and seems to be migrating to the rest of my red hair--as the days go by) but I still wouldn't change it or wished for a "never had done it" in a million years
it speaks to the "rocker" in me...the "pieces of april" in me....and for that...I am glad--for another experience 'o mine to add to the fro mix overall.
and...ok...don't worry, eventually, I WILL get it professionally fixed---soon-ish. or later-ish.
swear.
-af ¶ 9:38 PM 2 Comments
a special celebration for her:
(she's the one with the awesome smile and the springy totally enviable hair)
and one of the most dramatic backpackers I've ever hiked with :-)
and because today is a special day of celebration for him:
it's like a where's waldo to find him....but really--this shot of his face I totally enjoy--he's probably asking his dear 'ol dad when the wonderful-ness of the wedding receiving line would be over with...
this pic was taken within a few days of meeting him...note the hair on his head. I'm sure I don't miss it nearly as much as he does.
Happy Celebration day to you both. Enjoy the passing of time and the noise of the world around you...
-af ¶ 6:40 PM 0 Comments
Dear Sar,
a day early is called for and here are my thoughts on celebrating a birthday~with a little solo-flair:
while the beginning of this thought may open with yet another nod to Gilmore Girls--I swear...just stay with me until the end of my rambling thought which is needed after our last phone conversation...
I've been watching a lot of these episodes lately--
I'm in season six--and I just finished watching Lane's wedding
I think it's a relevant point as you prepare for the celebration of your birth...
See--there's THREE different celebrations/ceremonies of the day. ALL special. But the feel of the episode is really cool.
very funny—with the Buddhist grandma and things…but the Korean dash to the church after the first ceremony to the second…”58 seats and 62 Koreans!!!” ~priceless.
Last favorite part is…where lorelai takes off the long skirt and lane has on boots and shorter skirt and totally rocks it on OUT!..then..”let’s get this party started” and the shot (two photos of lane and zach /red/black-then panned to the reception party) of lane and zach takes us in to the third celebration
Now…this is where I might lose you (potentially)
My thought today:
Has nothing to do with wedding planning. Your wedding. Their wedding. Any wedding really.
But more to do with…tailoring the event to the person.
They were able to write the episode in such a way that respected the relative celebrations of those important to lane—but closed out the night with the celebration that was true to zach and lane.
And all but drunk lorelai ---truly a celebration to remember ;-)
For your birthday---your quest is to tailor the event to YOU.
You are NOT allowed to voice out to any other people the-- “do YOU feel like doing this activity that I am suggesting for my day?” or anything of the sort.
No making compromises on your birthday.
there really IS a wide range of things available for your consideration….[brain dump warning]
Keep in mind, that I wouldn’t recommend this to a “beginner” necessarily, but...it's time to have this one out in writing.
Here goes….
Advanced birthday celebrations on my side, besides donating stuff to goodwill (a carload should bring peace, love and happiness--the gift that's got no price tag, but it TOTALLY worth it) includes:
-trying to go somewhere I’ve never been before but always wanted to try;
or
-I LOVE eating breakfast out and reading the newspaper—long….breakfast…that I don’t have to make or clean up;
or
-take the perfect nap---
and the actual event for MY 30th birthday? the library in San Francisco adventure came about cause I tried to think of the one place that “lifted my spirits”
~a place that just…made me happy when I walked through the door.
I’ve always felt that way about library’s …books and materials that they let me take home without paying!!!! Budget free zone (yes, I’m leaving out late fees and why they should always be forgiven for our purposes here)….and since I lived in the bay area…I figured…where’s the biggest coolest library…preferably one I have to take a train to get to (trains are fun) ….making a loose plan/outline of the day—brought me to…TA-DA…SF library.
And it’s ALWAYS fun to walk around SF!!!
Ok. The one bump in the plan came when I found myself trying to walk from the library to Union Square…cause it didn’t look THAT far from the library. But there’s a lot of….street people in the middle of the day in SF…that are taller than me. Since I was still by myself... well, it turned out that Adam called for my birthday on my cell phone and I had him talk to me until I got…well. closer to union square.
and then? It was totally awesome to walk into boutiques that I’d always wanted to see—but really, would NEVER take the girls into (chanel/betsy Johnson..etc…all the really pretty small ones, with the sales people that looked beside themselves with happiness when they saw me open the door in my v-neck black shirt, wearing jeans and with a backpack on my back—what? I had taken a shower, but I sure didn’t look like their next sale walking in the door) and it was TOTALLY worth it. you know how much I enjoy window shopping and stuff…
The Union Square adventure was then topped off by food to go from cheesecake factory [food to-go…cause nothing will kill the birthday joy faster than a slow or surly waiter. And I loved that I got to eat the food the rest of the day…cause I took it with me. And all those poor people that were waiting around an HOUR to be seated…waste of time..sheesh…] that I mostly ate at the base of the statue in the middle of the square.
It was a beautiful day outside. And while it was tough to train my brain in the morning—I forcibly repeated to myself throughout the day….”it’s my birthday…look at all these people rushing around…it’s probably not THEIR birthday…ha ha…totally my birthday…rad…hmmm…wonder what I should do…on my BIRTHDAY!!!....(never, gee I wish I was…) always…look at the wealth of choices for adventure that surround the birthday girl!!!”
I mostly kept busy cause not only was I without the girls—but it was actually fairly recent they had left and it had been a while since we had last been separated—first week or so is always tough to get into the totally SOLO groove. But …mental brain/pathway training…key to success here.
And just as I’m writing this? (yes, swear it was supposed to be a short “thought” post) I remembered that on the way to SF (by train--of course) I stopped at Burlingame and got off the train to pop into Barnes and Nobel store and get some reading material—and as I waited for the next leg of my birthday train adventure? I remember looking around at the outside world…thinking about how I was 30. And…my prevailing thought as it always is on the days when my little naughties aren’t with me….was that I missed my girls. achingly missed my girls.
BUT. then I figured…well, budget and timing allows me to visit San Francisco on my 30th birthday….and then I told myself that I bet I could celebrate my 40th birthday in another big city WITH my girls. [forward planning never had it so good]
Another steadfast rule for the day (anniversary of my birth) is that I don’t really take calls on my actual birthday. I love listening to all the voice mail wishes cause they can be replayed and such (Yes, I KNOW I’m oh so popular). But it’s more that it interrupts my thought process of the day…and just “living” it. people wanna know what I’ve done…what I’m in the middle of doing…and before I know it…I totally lose my train of thought about what I was going to “do” next. Cause sometimes you don’t know until you know. And then you know.
[and actually---with elisa’s last birthday—I specifically kept her off the phone with anyone cause she ended up not negotiating the right present with me until the 21st of Jan. anytime she was asked what she got—mostly just Leanne. She spiraled down into a mess of why she wasn’t currently in Disneyland-and her life is so hard-and she misses her dog. Yeah. Holidays are…different to handle sometimes with kids. Lucky I’m on the case; oh. She ended up getting EXACTLY what she wanted—a camcorder. It’s AWESOME. And only 60$. She is darling. And a budding filmographer. And I maintained my—cash only basis budget. Sucks. But I maintained it. kids birthday tested my resolve. *sigh* so glad holidays are nearly over. They’re only getting temp tattoos from the easter bunny. ]
So—this birthday you’re working with an "in this economy" budget? Even BETTER for the birthday planning. You can be allowed to have very creative and different style expectations for yourself. Just---pay attention to what your little Sar voice is communicating to you.
Turn down all the other opinions on how you should celebrate the day. (it’s ok. Yes, even mine. Well—at least READ this masterpiece of brilliance) but on the actual day? It’s a day for you….to continue to get to know yourself. Not fruity or new agey. More like. Well—sort of like in Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts trying out what different kinds of eggs she likes and actually coming to a conclusion. (I know…I’m all over the current media references to make my point today)
I like that she cooked ‘em all at once to try them. I like how reporter dude asked that throughout the movie—and that it comes full circle in the end and doesn’t just lament the end of a relationship when fedex takes her away, but it’s the start of finding herself. Kind of cheesy…but I also am REALLY glad she was able to get back with him by the end. She herself—was ready to say she knew herself enough to know what she could contribute to the partnership. I know. Richard gere is still old. And I can only take him in small doses sometimes. But really—good writing all around. Specially with betty trout.
and so--for what it's worth...on your birthday--go out and find any kind or version of celebration of your choice that is worthy of the sar we all know and love.
thinking of you on your day and in advance.
-af
and uh--whatever you do...don't try the moon cakes. we already done that. and we know you don't like them. go for the pink frosting--or at least a sample before you buy.
¶ 2:18 PM 0 Comments
in memory of the belated birthday celebration for the man that digs a good parable
-----
imagine a new day dawns and brings with it a new promise.
A child is packing up their room and gathering their items together for their first trip off to college. (in my parables, ALL the children continue with their advanced education~ A and E, this means YOU)
since children occasionally save boring things like chores and packing to the last minute, there is a flurry of activity as the wise parent assist in the last minute mental checklist to make sure they have accounted for all of the necessities of life.
Parent: "are you sure packed all your winter clothes...gloves, coat and warm socks?"
Child: "yes, I already packed it!"
Parent: "did you put in all your favorite pants--including your cool brown jeans from eddie bauer?"
Child: "yes, I packed those ones first"
the pitch of this conversation should be noted; as parent maintains the calm and goes through what they KNOW are important items that WILL be missed and are not easily replaceable, the child's tone grows in exasperation and anxiousness--excitement for the adventure ahead...but...nervous about the great unknown.
Parent: "did you remember to pack your sewing kit? First aid kit? and extra cold medicine?"
Child: "yes. I have it with me!!!"
Parent: "I feel like there's something important that I'm forgetting to remember to have you take with you...something that you will need..."
"...your pillow?" "...your sheets and laundry stuff?"
Child: finally finding an attention grabbing phrase for the parent that continues to verbally run through the list of necessary items...
(exasperated): "stop!" ...(beat of silence)...
parent and child are locked in a wordless conversation and present together in a moment of time and reality that is now upon them
Child continues with a voice full of calm seriousness: "you've given me everything that I need."
-----
[afro internal thoughts outloud~break in parable-ing]
Do parents ever feel like they have given enough of the "stuff" that their children need? Especially as it comes time to send their children out on their own--these children; the very souls they have been responsible for raising, guiding and providing for physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally for the last eighteen years.
I imagine the internal thoughts of a parent that has offered such devotion to a child to be:
"have I done enough to prepare them?"
"have I given the very best of myself and done all that I could do for them?"
"I wonder what pathway their life will take..."
----
afro style parable continues:
In my family growing up, Momma L has been the one to go shopping, do the stock up and setting her little chicks up for the college life in their little satellite nests and with anything and everything that they could need. We were very lucky 18 year olds, that had every advantage--and have the "annoyed/too cool for these pictures that my mom is taking of me in front of people that I don't even know" pictures to prove it.
Grandpa Pete--I've always pictured (besides being the financial backbone that allows the momma chick to take the embarrassing pictures--i mean to "buy" the satellite chickie nest stuff) as the one that provided the non-tangible listing of things to pack.
Grandpa Pete: "do you need any more character?"
or
"a couple more lessons on personal integrity and its applications in your life?"
how bout
"a few thoughts on keys to success in school and the world beyond?"
Dad understood from a very early age in raising his family, that even with many siblings--everyone would need the momma chick to mother and nuture the little chicks...but we would also need our "check-in" Dad. Our time one on one to converse together and understand how relationships are put together and how counsel is given and received.
In my moments of picturing my own future; nothing seems potentially scarier than watching your own little bird take off and fly on their own. With whatever skills they have developed on their own or picked up through your best efforts;
the parents may have modeled, provided and coached to the best of their abilities; but then--at the time when they can see a virtual finish line to their daily responsibilities--they must be the mirror of confidence that their child will look to as they decide if they are going to take off on their own, and how they are going to feel about it for themselves. Nothing makes an anxious kid lose all self confidence faster than a freaked out parent. (i worked for a few years in day care settings and I KNOW my own kids--just trust me. one of the biggest feats of strength is a parent pulling off outward calm during a potentially internal fearful juncture)
Wise and collected is the parent that can be calm enough to say: "go ahead, you can do it---you are going to make it. you have the abilities you need to do this."
and then...
they watch. they may say--"fly on your own"
but their loving attention continues the parent-watch.
---
If only each of us could have said at our own 18 year old moment of departure--(though we probably [for me only] have only realized it after we've lived our lives a little bit)...
the following phrase:
"You've given me everything that I need."
---
Don't misunderstand my artistic license here (broad strokes though I may paint)--
"everything that I need" is another beginning point, and not an ending or a "i've got all that i need and therefore, don't need you anymore"
BUT
"everything that I need" and so now I will go and I understand my support group and base cheer leading camp is here. And will go with me. As I experience life's journey and make my way through many uncertainties, even as many other things have been--unpredictable at best; there is one thing that I always know to be true.
That my mom and dad would always be my mom and dad--in a very real and present sense of purposeful parenting, and before it was all dr. phil'd up with tips and tricks on how to do this. They just are, because they are, because there has never been a time or moment I can recall--when they were anything less. Parents first, and learing about my own unique style and sense of humor--second (which is really how it should be).
and the principles and daily efforts they made for their young family and the consistency and focus of purpose they put forth--continue to make the difference in my life and in the lives of my girls.
For all the media and modern shows that tend to point the blame or finger at the parents or young children's upbringing or general decline of society--on "blame the parents"
then ...when children succeed or "rise above their situations"--the credit goes to the children themselves. Like they succeed on their own, but fail due to their parents perceived missteps.
Might I also then add--[particularly on the day we celebrated the beginning of dad's life] and his AARP membership;
any good or consistency or tough skin that I may have in me is because of and influenced directly by my parents and specifically March 31st, due to the fact that I had a Father that really did manage to "give me everything that I need".
Happy Birthday (again, and posted lateR than your actual birthday) but...i DO have one more favorite shot to share of you:
LOVE-ing your stylin' pants and your hair waving in the wind, and the classic one year old baby pose o' mine and of course, but MOST of all--the joyful expression captured on your face. ¶ 9:42 PM 1 Comments
