Last favorite part is…where lorelai takes off the long skirt and lane has on boots and shorter skirt and totally rocks it on OUT!..then..”let’s get this party started” and the shot (two photos of lane and zach /red/black-then panned to the reception party) of lane and zach takes us in to the third celebration

Now…this is where I might lose you (potentially)

My thought today:

Has nothing to do with wedding planning. Your wedding. Their wedding. Any wedding really.

But more to do with…tailoring the event to the person.

They were able to write the episode in such a way that respected the relative celebrations of those important to lane—but closed out the night with the celebration that was true to zach and lane.

And all but drunk lorelai ---truly a celebration to remember ;-)

For your birthday---your quest is to tailor the event to YOU.

You are NOT allowed to voice out to any other people the-- “do YOU feel like doing this activity that I am suggesting for my day?” or anything of the sort.

No making compromises on your birthday.

there really IS a wide range of things available for your consideration….[brain dump warning]

Keep in mind, that I wouldn’t recommend this to a “beginner” necessarily, but...it's time to have this one out in writing.

Here goes….

Advanced birthday celebrations on my side, besides donating stuff to goodwill (a carload should bring peace, love and happiness--the gift that's got no price tag, but it TOTALLY worth it) includes:

-trying to go somewhere I’ve never been before but always wanted to try;

or

-I LOVE eating breakfast out and reading the newspaper—long….breakfast…that I don’t have to make or clean up;

or

-take the perfect nap---

and the actual event for MY 30th birthday? the library in San Francisco adventure came about cause I tried to think of the one place that “lifted my spirits”

~a place that just…made me happy when I walked through the door.

I’ve always felt that way about library’s …books and materials that they let me take home without paying!!!! Budget free zone (yes, I’m leaving out late fees and why they should always be forgiven for our purposes here)….and since I lived in the bay area…I figured…where’s the biggest coolest library…preferably one I have to take a train to get to (trains are fun) ….making a loose plan/outline of the day—brought me to…TA-DA…SF library.

And it’s ALWAYS fun to walk around SF!!!

Ok. The one bump in the plan came when I found myself trying to walk from the library to Union Square…cause it didn’t look THAT far from the library. But there’s a lot of….street people in the middle of the day in SF…that are taller than me. Since I was still by myself... well, it turned out that Adam called for my birthday on my cell phone and I had him talk to me until I got…well. closer to union square.

and then? It was totally awesome to walk into boutiques that I’d always wanted to see—but really, would NEVER take the girls into (chanel/betsy Johnson..etc…all the really pretty small ones, with the sales people that looked beside themselves with happiness when they saw me open the door in my v-neck black shirt, wearing jeans and with a backpack on my back—what? I had taken a shower, but I sure didn’t look like their next sale walking in the door) and it was TOTALLY worth it. you know how much I enjoy window shopping and stuff…

The Union Square adventure was then topped off by food to go from cheesecake factory [food to-go…cause nothing will kill the birthday joy faster than a slow or surly waiter. And I loved that I got to eat the food the rest of the day…cause I took it with me. And all those poor people that were waiting around an HOUR to be seated…waste of time..sheesh…] that I mostly ate at the base of the statue in the middle of the square.

It was a beautiful day outside. And while it was tough to train my brain in the morning—I forcibly repeated to myself throughout the day….”it’s my birthday…look at all these people rushing around…it’s probably not THEIR birthday…ha ha…totally my birthday…rad…hmmm…wonder what I should do…on my BIRTHDAY!!!....(never, gee I wish I was…) always…look at the wealth of choices for adventure that surround the birthday girl!!!”

I mostly kept busy cause not only was I without the girls—but it was actually fairly recent they had left and it had been a while since we had last been separated—first week or so is always tough to get into the totally SOLO groove. But …mental brain/pathway training…key to success here.

And just as I’m writing this? (yes, swear it was supposed to be a short “thought” post) I remembered that on the way to SF (by train--of course) I stopped at Burlingame and got off the train to pop into Barnes and Nobel store and get some reading material—and as I waited for the next leg of my birthday train adventure? I remember looking around at the outside world…thinking about how I was 30. And…my prevailing thought as it always is on the days when my little naughties aren’t with me….was that I missed my girls. achingly missed my girls.

BUT. then I figured…well, budget and timing allows me to visit San Francisco on my 30^th birthday….and then I told myself that I bet I could celebrate my 40^th birthday in another big city WITH my girls. [forward planning never had it so good]

Another steadfast rule for the day (anniversary of my birth) is that I don’t really take calls on my actual birthday. I love listening to all the voice mail wishes cause they can be replayed and such (Yes, I KNOW I’m oh so popular). But it’s more that it interrupts my thought process of the day…and just “living” it. people wanna know what I’ve done…what I’m in the middle of doing…and before I know it…I totally lose my train of thought about what I was going to “do” next. Cause sometimes you don’t know until you know. And then you know.

[and actually---with elisa’s last birthday—I specifically kept her off the phone with anyone cause she ended up not negotiating the right present with me until the 21^st of Jan. anytime she was asked what she got—mostly just Leanne. She spiraled down into a mess of why she wasn’t currently in Disneyland-and her life is so hard-and she misses her dog. Yeah. Holidays are…different to handle sometimes with kids. Lucky I’m on the case; oh. She ended up getting EXACTLY what she wanted—a camcorder. It’s AWESOME. And only 60$. She is darling. And a budding filmographer. And I maintained my—cash only basis budget. Sucks. But I maintained it. kids birthday tested my resolve. *sigh* so glad holidays are nearly over. They’re only getting temp tattoos from the easter bunny. ]

So—this birthday you’re working with an "in this economy" budget? Even BETTER for the birthday planning. You can be allowed to have very creative and different style expectations for yourself. Just---pay attention to what your little Sar voice is communicating to you.

Turn down all the other opinions on how you should celebrate the day. (it’s ok. Yes, even mine. Well—at least READ this masterpiece of brilliance) but on the actual day? It’s a day for you….to continue to get to know yourself. Not fruity or new agey. More like. Well—sort of like in Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts trying out what different kinds of eggs she likes and actually coming to a conclusion. (I know…I’m all over the current media references to make my point today)

I like that she cooked ‘em all at once to try them. I like how reporter dude asked that throughout the movie—and that it comes full circle in the end and doesn’t just lament the end of a relationship when fedex takes her away, but it’s the start of finding herself. Kind of cheesy…but I also am REALLY glad she was able to get back with him by the end. She herself—was ready to say she knew herself enough to know what she could contribute to the partnership. I know. Richard gere is still old. And I can only take him in small doses sometimes. But really—good writing all around. Specially with betty trout.

and so--for what it's worth...on your birthday--go out and find any kind or version of celebration of your choice that is worthy of the sar we all know and love.

thinking of you on your day and in advance.

-af

and uh--whatever you do...don't try the moon cakes. we already done that. and we know you don't like them. go for the pink frosting--or at least a sample before you buy.