You've given me everything that I need a modern day parable

in memory of the belated birthday celebration for the man that digs a good parable
-----

imagine a new day dawns and brings with it a new promise.

A child is packing up their room and gathering their items together for their first trip off to college. (in my parables, ALL the children continue with their advanced education~ A and E, this means YOU)

since children occasionally save boring things like chores and packing to the last minute, there is a flurry of activity as the wise parent assist in the last minute mental checklist to make sure they have accounted for all of the necessities of life.

Parent: "are you sure packed all your winter clothes...gloves, coat and warm socks?"

Child: "yes, I already packed it!"

Parent: "did you put in all your favorite pants--including your cool brown jeans from eddie bauer?"

Child: "yes, I packed those ones first"

the pitch of this conversation should be noted; as parent maintains the calm and goes through what they KNOW are important items that WILL be missed and are not easily replaceable, the child's tone grows in exasperation and anxiousness--excitement for the adventure ahead...but...nervous about the great unknown.

Parent: "did you remember to pack your sewing kit? First aid kit? and extra cold medicine?"

Child: "yes. I have it with me!!!"

Parent: "I feel like there's something important that I'm forgetting to remember to have you take with you...something that you will need..."

"...your pillow?" "...your sheets and laundry stuff?"

Child: finally finding an attention grabbing phrase for the parent that continues to verbally run through the list of necessary items...

(exasperated): "stop!" ...(beat of silence)...

parent and child are locked in a wordless conversation and present together in a moment of time and reality that is now upon them

Child continues with a voice full of calm seriousness: "you've given me everything that I need."

-----

[afro internal thoughts outloud~break in parable-ing]

Do parents ever feel like they have given enough of the "stuff" that their children need? Especially as it comes time to send their children out on their own--these children; the very souls they have been responsible for raising, guiding and providing for physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally for the last eighteen years.

I imagine the internal thoughts of a parent that has offered such devotion to a child to be:

"have I done enough to prepare them?"
"have I given the very best of myself and done all that I could do for them?"
"I wonder what pathway their life will take..."

----

afro style parable continues:

In my family growing up, Momma L has been the one to go shopping, do the stock up and setting her little chicks up for the college life in their little satellite nests and with anything and everything that they could need. We were very lucky 18 year olds, that had every advantage--and have the "annoyed/too cool for these pictures that my mom is taking of me in front of people that I don't even know" pictures to prove it.

Grandpa Pete--I've always pictured (besides being the financial backbone that allows the momma chick to take the embarrassing pictures--i mean to "buy" the satellite chickie nest stuff) as the one that provided the non-tangible listing of things to pack.

Grandpa Pete: "do you need any more character?"

or

"a couple more lessons on personal integrity and its applications in your life?"

how bout

"a few thoughts on keys to success in school and the world beyond?"

Dad understood from a very early age in raising his family, that even with many siblings--everyone would need the momma chick to mother and nuture the little chicks...but we would also need our "check-in" Dad. Our time one on one to converse together and understand how relationships are put together and how counsel is given and received.

In my moments of picturing my own future; nothing seems potentially scarier than watching your own little bird take off and fly on their own. With whatever skills they have developed on their own or picked up through your best efforts;

the parents may have modeled, provided and coached to the best of their abilities; but then--at the time when they can see a virtual finish line to their daily responsibilities--they must be the mirror of confidence that their child will look to as they decide if they are going to take off on their own, and how they are going to feel about it for themselves. Nothing makes an anxious kid lose all self confidence faster than a freaked out parent. (i worked for a few years in day care settings and I KNOW my own kids--just trust me. one of the biggest feats of strength is a parent pulling off outward calm during a potentially internal fearful juncture)

Wise and collected is the parent that can be calm enough to say: "go ahead, you can do it---you are going to make it. you have the abilities you need to do this."

and then...

they watch. they may say--"fly on your own"

but their loving attention continues the parent-watch.

---

If only each of us could have said at our own 18 year old moment of departure--(though we probably [for me only] have only realized it after we've lived our lives a little bit)...

the following phrase:

"You've given me everything that I need."

---

Don't misunderstand my artistic license here (broad strokes though I may paint)--

"everything that I need" is another beginning point, and not an ending or a "i've got all that i need and therefore, don't need you anymore"

BUT

"everything that I need" and so now I will go and I understand my support group and base cheer leading camp is here. And will go with me. As I experience life's journey and make my way through many uncertainties, even as many other things have been--unpredictable at best; there is one thing that I always know to be true.

That my mom and dad would always be my mom and dad--in a very real and present sense of purposeful parenting, and before it was all dr. phil'd up with tips and tricks on how to do this. They just are, because they are, because there has never been a time or moment I can recall--when they were anything less. Parents first, and learing about my own unique style and sense of humor--second (which is really how it should be).

and the principles and daily efforts they made for their young family and the consistency and focus of purpose they put forth--continue to make the difference in my life and in the lives of my girls.

For all the media and modern shows that tend to point the blame or finger at the parents or young children's upbringing or general decline of society--on "blame the parents"

then ...when children succeed or "rise above their situations"--the credit goes to the children themselves. Like they succeed on their own, but fail due to their parents perceived missteps.

Might I also then add--[particularly on the day we celebrated the beginning of dad's life] and his AARP membership;

any good or consistency or tough skin that I may have in me is because of and influenced directly by my parents and specifically March 31st, due to the fact that I had a Father that really did manage to "give me everything that I need".

Happy Birthday (again, and posted lateR than your actual birthday) but...i DO have one more favorite shot to share of you:



LOVE-ing your stylin' pants and your hair waving in the wind, and the classic one year old baby pose o' mine and of course, but MOST of all--the joyful expression captured on your face.  ¶ 9:42 PM